Catastrophizing

It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged. Sorry…no excuses.

Lately Sobercyster has felt incredibly overwhelmed with this drunk world around her. I don’t think Spring Fling helped her that much. I don’t know if it was the bad weather or literally all the drugs and alcohol filling the air everywhere around me, but I seriously felt like I couldn’t breathe. It’s so frustrating because either people are questioning me because I’m not drinking like them, or if I do tell them the truth that I’m not drinking, they say things  to my friends around me like “How do you support your sober friend?” (shout out random Asshole at Penn for the weekend). My friends and I both immediately stood up for myself…I don’t need support. At least I didn’t think I did. This weekend however showed me that I really do need support. There’s nothing worse then having to deal with all this and having a bunch of drunk people rubbing in my face a lot of problems. It’s really tempting for me to try to help them because I’ve always been that kind of caring person, but that leads to more frustrations and I get even more overwhelmed when other people are always crying. Except my Little (shout out cutest crying sesh ever…maybe it’s because you’re short. I love you). Essentially I just want to concentrate on my own being and problems especially considering I am trying to attack them with a clear mind, where as these drunk fools probably won’t even remember half the things they are crying about. People, including myself (I am 100% guilty of this too) tend catastrophize things. When drunk, a common symptom of this catastrophizing is “beer tears.”

So for me, it’s kind of like a chicken and the egg. Part of my problem is because other people overwhelm me. But am I just catastrophizing small issues?

At Seder tonight my family talked about life principles and I basically came to understand that money, job, etc. isn’t as important as happiness. It’s really cliche but it’s so basic. What is the point of having money or a job? It’s to support oneself or a family. But what good is a family without happiness.

After yesterday’s day to raise awareness for AFSP and mental health I realized that poor mental health is triggered by added pressure we put on ourselves, especially at places like Penn. I will defend myself that I have my unique set of added pressures right now. I’m taking 6 classes my senior year of college, can’t drink, and have plenty of personal crap going on. I know of other friends of mine that have other worse things in their life to go through. However, other words of wisdom I learned yesterday is that some good can come with some bad. Like I don’t feel guilty for how many calories of alcohol I consumed this weekend! And I am now a Film major (Shout out Roomz). I am slowly learning that it’s about how you decide to let something shape your life and how you decide to handle it…not how it handles you.

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~ by sobercyster on April 18, 2011.

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